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TheGreenGoat [userpic]

Is there a person in your life who always has a hug and makes you feel better when they're around? Who is it – and what do you love about them?

Definitley. When I see them my friends Danielle and Mimi always have some way to cheer me up. They're quite a bit younger than I am, in sixth or seventh grade (me being in tenth) but they're always there laughing and joking around. They remind me why I took a vow to never grow up- they're just so happy all the time. Even when I'm pissed off they can make me laugh and bump into a group of teachers. It's great and I love them so much.

Current Mood: curiouscurious
TheGreenGoat [userpic]

It takes hime like five million hundred tries just to diagnose lymphoma (THEY ALWAYS DIAGNOSE THAT) and it bugs me for some reason.

So anyways, my novel thing is due in THREE days and I'm bummed. I switched the whole thing around. THERE ARE STILL DELECTABLE LITTLE CHILDREN THOUGH. We all know how delectable children are. I swear to god keep me away from the adoption place because I will eat them with powdered sugar. It's like if children were cupcakes, they would always be the gourmet ones you get from little pastry boutiques with the light pink frosting. THIS IS NOT A RAPING SITUATION. I only wish to eat them.

Also, you would think somebody wouldn't love you if they brought you to this brothel place and forced you to have sex with people but you would be wrong. This is the basis for Theo's love and Julia's love. Just to say.

For some reason I can't wait to start writing but I look at my journal (it's quite a PRACTICAL journal) and I feel like I should go to the bathroom and make myself throw up. It's crazy, CRAZY I say. So there are about one hundred pages of nonsense that I trashed and I read it over and think, "By George I would totally read this rad novel" but then I remember it very closely resembles the writing of Margaret Atwood and I have this obsession with being original. I'm like one of those hipsters except I don't wear a fedora and critisize My Chemical Romance and lament in my very much hidden teen angst.

Bring your delectable children to Calgary!
Your humble narrator, 



Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: Nirvana- Depressed
TheGreenGoat [userpic]

Theo is my favorite character. I've planned it so she gets nice and insane near the end. I love insane people. I think my dream vacation would be at a mental hospital. I would love to just sit down with someone who was so overflowing with endless thoughts and I would just let him say everything, take in his insaneness and turn it into my characters drowning in moths. I think it would be beautiful.

Anywho, I don't yet know much about Theo. She has a past, but I'm not sure it directly relates to the story I'm trying to tell. I don't know what I'm trying to tell, I just know that I have a lot of images in my head that I'd like to get out. It's hard to explain, and I'm not quite okay with that- not knowing what I'm saying, I mean. I feel like I should know. To be a good author I should know the message I want out. And I deffinitley have a message, but it got lost somewhere in the planning. And it's an abstract message anyways, so I can't clearly define it. I can't have a character say, "Life Is All About Happiness and blahblahblah BLER". It doesn't work. If a character were to say the message it would sound like, "lemur eyes and mouse droppings and little rose buds and ugly things that are beautiful and twigs all dried up without any green inside and weeping willows and drowning in moths and being animal and being controlled and being controlling and wearing a leash and barking like a dog and dancing in a really weird dress that actually looks beautiful when you put it on and virginity and sluttiness and milk that has some yellow in it so it looks like cream..." I could go on, but I don't want to.

So I'll just have to write and hope it makes sense to somebody but it sort of doesn't make any sense to me so I don't know how that's supposed to happen. I want all of these images and all of these little moments and I want them there but they can't be there. For some reason...

So THEO because this is what it's all about. Theo is like me and I guess I take some of my experiences and give it to her. She needs them, she really does. Without them she would just be some woman who was sitting in a shower hut that was filling up with water who dropped some red wine in the water (which will make sense later) and who was afraid of it. Without me she would be afraid for no reason. I mean sometimes it can look like someone is afraid for no reason, but they themselves have a reason. But without me, not even she would have a reason. And what's weird about this is that I don't think, if I met Theo in real life, I would like her. I wouldn't. She's erratic and scary and violent.

So that is my problem. I have characters I don't like and meanings that aren't there but they ARE and these images that I want but I can't have. It's complicated. Somehow this journal went where I didn't want it to go lol. This is what I'm afraid my novel will do.

Anyways, anyways. That's all I have to say. I'm talked OUT.

Your humble narrator,


Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: Joanna Newsom- Cosmia
TheGreenGoat [userpic]

Do you think parents should have the right to post public pictures and videos of their children on the Internet? Why or why not?

No. I think parents should ask their children- if they're old enough of course- because I know from experience that it can be embarassing and just frustrating! I think it violates their right to privacy. Just because your children are under eighteen it doesn't make it right to make their lives public. I absolutely hate it when I see somebody's mom on facebook telling Susan about Eric's first poo poo. It's weird and unethical.

Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
TheGreenGoat [userpic]

Who was your favorite childhood superhero, and why?

Pooh Bear- Not technically a superhero, but you know, he was a pretty rad guy.

Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
TheGreenGoat [userpic]

The whole reason I started this blog was to get the creative juices flowing- sounds disgusting, I don't want any juices flowing anywhere. I LIKE MY JUICES DAMMIT. 

Anyways, so start off, Hi. I am a goat. That is green. Except not really. I'm a fiction writer working on a novel. I'm a little young, but I try not to be. I'm not one of those VAMPIRE, BLOOD, LOVE, ROMANCE freaks. I want to create something original. I want to write something that's a cross between Oryx and Crake, The Black Swan, A Handmaid's Tale, 1984 and some obscure, unrealistic, unreasonable, underwater-world-like place with children. Something that is UN something. Something unexpected. I'm sure you'll figure it out, give it time. I haven't figured it out yet.

I've written five chapters, trashed that, two more chapters; both trashed, two more separate first chapters (TRASHED), and I'm starting over. Completely. I'm quite the ADHD monster. But I don't take my medicine. THEY CAN'T MAKE ME DO ANYTHING. DO SOMETHING, YOU SAY? NO. I SHALL NOT.

Then this wonderful, impractical, totally rad dream bitch-slapped me and was like, "DO I HAVE THE THING FOR YOU." At first I ignored it, going about my day thinking, "wow, that was a fantastic dream I just had. I think I shall ignore it and not do anything with it." Eventually I clued in (I always do) and I had a general outline for a NOVEL. <---- It is probably best not to aggravate this very large, very intimidating word. Ignore it and maybe it will go away.

I'm not going to reveal all (because it's top-secret in a folder marked SECRET somewhere in my very intellectual brain), but I will tell a bit.

1. It stars a very charming young lady named Theo. (You will also find that every bug I come across is named Theo, as are all of my stuffed animals and my friends, when I can get them to stop pretending they don't know me.)

2. A sweet girl/woman(?) comes along later by the name of Julia. (I've stolen this from my friend, Julia Reeves. Perhaps you've heard of her? She's the pretty one thinking that she's not pretty.)

3. The children. Ah, yes, the children. They are delectable little angels who wear costumes and dance all day.

4. The Meats; that terrible place where they tell you not to go, but you go anyways because it goes by the name of "Meat" and is therefore special and intriguing.

5. Stuff happens that I am not yet aware of.

I am, however, placing bits and pieces (peices?) of other dreams that might fit. I had a beautiful one last night (resisting the urge to yell THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID is very hard for a 15-year-old). For some reason I lived with my mother in a cottage that was yellow with white trimmings. It was one of those cottages that a herbalist or botanist or Whoever might own; with quaint little details like dried-out lavender and wood spirals and dried plants everywhere. Especially it was filled with books that had real handwriting in them, marked with ribbons and dried roses and other things- and little drawings of plants in soft colors on the pages (which are hand-made with pulp that Whoever extracted Themselves). It had that dirty but clean air about it. Like when you see a yellowed page of some really old document and you know it's ancient and teeming with decay, but you still think it's beautiful.

So anyways, this dream also featured a gorgeous icy river that got deep black about thirty centimeters down. I swam through it on a rock (yes, a rock) and was constantly afraid of some large, unimaginable creature with skinny long teeth coming to the surface to take my feet off. And the thing was, it looked icy and smelt icy and seemed like if you licked it your mouth would get a terrible shock, but when you went in it, it was only slightly cool. I want to incorporate that somehow. Also that ancient decaying beauty feel of the cottage. I would love that.

My head is absolutely EXPLODING with ideas and people and little dancing children so I'm going to end this. But it's been a lovely INSPIRING totally rad first entry and I hope I get some comments or something! I'd love some perspectives/critiques/brutal criticism---- Anything you have, I'll take it! I'll bloody take it all!

Your humble narrator,


Current Location: Canada, Calgary/Dining Room
Current Mood: satisfiedsatisfied
Current Music: Nirvana- Moist Vagina
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